Losing 100 pounds

Psychedelics can initiate transformation, and they can help you make it through that change intact.

Of all the things I never thought I would do, being a swimsuit model is at the top of the list. 😭

Let’s back up a second. 

A few years back, I lost 100 lbs. I also lost more than $100k that same year. I recovered from my food addiction and alcohol problem but became a drunk with money. 

Can we talk about that here sometime?

Consolidated with many contrasting emotions about being a heavyweight loser, you would think that I’d be proud of the hard work that went into this transformation. Still, there’s more to it than that.

For decades I searched my inner world for that broken something because something always felt messy inside. (Self-hate is hard to live with, no matter what size.)

(By recently, I meant over the last few years - it feels like a million years ago because my life is so radically different now, thanks to psychedelics.)

I’m not the same person now as I was then, but yet, I’m not a better person; I didn’t do anything impressive to get out of the double hundreds in weight. It took some really sweet, gruelling, and revolutionary choices for peace of mind and happiness to surface. 

It’s a bit embarrassing to admit now, but I thought that all my troubles would melt away. 

Of course, they didn’t. And the problems I had left untouched erupted. An emotional, psychological response where a full-blown existential awakening came to light.

I want to make you giggle to break up this moment of discomfort and call it a bad trip. But it wasn’t. It was precisely the awakening I needed. 

One day we can laugh together about the time when we finally set our truth free. 

Being here is the very thing to get us, you and me, to that we’ll look back and laugh together one day. In this community, I hold space for the radically changing brave ones

Because I am living proof, change is messy.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

It is hard to do alone.

Psychedelics can initiate transformation, and they can help you make it through that change intact.

Now, I live a pretty great life! I embrace my smaller pot belly, my wide hips and thighs that jiggle. People say I look lovely. 

I never dreamed of sharing that with my audience. Still, it seemed important because it is counter-intuitive not to represent who I truly am. 

I am indebted to all the profound healing psychedelics have delivered. 

And the courage I’ve pulled from within to deconstruct diet culture to normalize bodies and celebrate inclusivity.

How are you showing up?

Do you think psychedelics could catapult you into something big?

Love,