Hey!
I turned 50 yesterday, but it doesn't feel that much different. 🤷♀️
I was a little overwhelmed and tired and ready to get into my next decade. I spent a long quiet weekend at a cottage in a hot tub so I could put work away, take a break and chill hard.
But then I remembered something about the year my sister turned 50. (I am the baby sister.)
When my oldest sister had planned her own 50th birthday party. It was my first time ever sober at a party or with my family, for that matter. Two hundred and eighty-something days sober, if you're counting. My sister rented the community hall where we had all our childhood meetings, from Brownies to Weight Watchers. Tables covered in bright floral vintage material, rags made into streamers, decor she picked up in Mexico in her twenties and a playlist she worked on for a month. She asked me to be the bartender, so I didn't feel awkward. I travelled out west to be there, and I was different. I was serving drinks while sober. It made perfect sense to hide mysolution to the problem behind the bar back in the corner. I took a break as barmaid to show my moves on the dance floor though my unintoxicated body had none. So I improvised. I made it funny, wonky, jerky, flopping, spinning nonsense. Then touched by healing magic, I felt every part of me wake up into a budding blossom ready to burst. My body was alive and dancing to a new kind of music or an ancient song.
That was 5 years ago. Still sober, still dancing, and I'm having fun. 😆
Life is full of momentum; intense moments can feel too much. In trauma resolution, there's a practice called resourcing which invites taking time to pause and notice where you are - this helps identify things that would like to support your body or emotional health.
Being in recovery is many things. I am looking forward to the next decade filled with a belly aching face full of laughter wrinkles.
To more,
