a little Kramer, a lot Elaine
playin' in Pleasure (Church)
Yo pleasure seeker,
If life hands you a delightful menu of desires, would you still include the instruction manual or how to add bold flavours?
Where's the guidebook for the pleasure island we're all supposed to land on? The mysterious place of hedonistic delights and escapism.
So, over the past year, I've been doing some deep dives into the rabbit hole into a maze of unravelling the layers within myself. I found a place where I create space for pleasure to emerge by acknowledging and addressing pain. A "Whoa, didn't know that was possible" rabbit hole. It's like feeling around in the dark, but with a flashlight (I will avoid getting more specific 😉), exploring uncharted territories of my desires. Picture stumbling into a secret room with a neon sign saying, "Welcome to the Pleasuredome," and discovering nooks and crannies I never knew existed: a welcome refuge and to find pleasure in the face of a complex and challenging world.
Let's talk about pleasure, folks. Not the everyday kind, like finally finding that twenty-dollar bill in your pocket (though that's pretty sweet). I'm talking about the big P: Pleasure, as this is a basic human need that very few of us learn how to navigate. It's like handing someone the keys to a spaceship and expecting them to know how to launch it.
I'm not here to spill all my secrets, but let's say that exploring pleasure has been like opening the door to a room I never knew I had. I've been tiptoeing around, feeling like the Kramer of my life—I just slipped into a touch of unpredictability, spontaneity, and a quirky way of navigating our human condition.
Funny how we all stumble through assertiveness, clumsiness, and unusual dance moves, wishing we accidentally land on the jackpot of what makes us feel truly alive, an experience that captures the nature of the bold and the extravagant. It's like playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey but with spicy desires. Blindfolded, spinning around, and hoping we get it on the spot. 🤯
So, here's my little happy nugget of wisdom for you today: Your needs matter. Seriously, they do. You matter. Invite more pleasure? It's like finding a map downstairs that says, "Hey, here be treasures," and realizing you've been sitting on a gold mine all along.
Anyway, I'm dropping you a line from the frontline of personal findings. If I starred in my private Netflix pilot, I would be the weird, odd character figuring it out one misadventure at a time.
Stay curious, my friend; we're all just trying to get the most outta this one wild ride.
Tell me how you’re doing.
Welcome. A little space to normalize pleasure, embrace sex-positive conversations, delve into harm reduction, consent, discuss sex work, queer positivity, and explore kinks.
Beginning with many beginnings.
Resources:
Katt Nantz is an incredible Somatic Sex Coach. I have learned more from her in a year than I knew was even possible. She is a juicy resource for people with vulvas who want more connection, playfulness, pleasure and sexual contentment. Kat and her team will host a Pleasure Church retreat in Portugal in May this year. I have attended this event in the past, and it has changed my life. (I am not kidding; it is not an affiliate link) Are you ready to feel excited, curious, and nervous about exploring your edges? You might want to check it out and get pampered, darling. Spicy level 3/5 🌶🌶🌶
Sluts and Scholars Podcast as featured in Cosmopolitan. Hosted by licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Sexologist Nicoletta Heidegger. Candid conversations span sexuality, kink, and sex work professions. Delve into desire, pleasure, shame, stigma, harm reduction and the nuances of having a human body.