conundrum of choice

hello, inner chaos - meet inner compass

Welcome, viewers!

Currently, my contractor is busy removing my front porch with a loud saws-all. He likely used this machine a few months ago to remove the back deck before the excavator, cement trucks, and landscapers took over into full-on week-after-week turnstile of construction crews. Now, wrapping up beginning to end, sometimes so messy and dishevelled that I wanted to sell the house "as-is" and move. Now, I wish we could transplant our (very distant)future grandbabies into the landscape like the emerald cedars lining the fence. Back to the current scene, it is quite a sight: Ziggi, the contractor, has got a half-smoked cigarette dangling from his lips, his huge truck is backed into my driveway, and he's wearing a t-shirt proclaiming, "I like cats more than humans."  😽

This got me thinking about the contradictions we all live with. Here are a few of mine:

• I love water but only swim in the lake or canal, not the pool in my backyard. 🏖

• When I want to cool down, I go in the hot tub. 🛁

• I crave freedom but secretly wish someone would tell me what to do and call me a good girl. 🙋‍♀️

• I go to bed early and sleep like a champion, but I wish I had more time in the day.

• I have unorganized boxes and hundreds of hard-copy pictures from when my children were babies, and I hope that Facebook albums are good enough evidence that their childhoods mattered. 📷

• I am happy to be a Canadian. (I am not bilingual) I also need to learn more about politics, which seems easier to ignore when you are Canadian.🍁

• I aim to rethink my relationships, seeking to understand and dismantle the inherited biases and colonial structures, including the ease of heteronormativity, that affect how we connect. 🌈

Life is inherently complicated because humans are inherently complex. These contradictions are part of what makes us who we are. They reflect our multifaceted nature and the diverse experiences that shape our identities.

As I navigate the noise of construction and the contradictions in my life, I find a strange comfort in the chaos. It reminds me that it's okay to be inconsistent, to have conflicting desires, and to embrace the complexity of our human experience. I don't always know what I want, but facing hard decisions mattered because I realized again, on a deeper level, that I mattered.

Out of chaos, creativity can flourish. Disarray can force us to think differently, innovate, and find solutions that a calm and orderly environment might never provoke. Amid the confusion, we can discover clarity. When everything seems tangled and uncertain, we are often compelled to prioritize what truly matters, see through the noise, and find a clear path forward. 🧭

These moments of contradiction and complexity are challenges to overcome and growth opportunities. They allow us to see the world from a new perspective. They remind us that life is not meant to be perfectly ordered and predictable. Embracing chaos and confusion can lead us to true creativity and clarity.

And while I may like dogs more than cats, I like humans the most.

Ya, I think you are super cool.

If you want to connect, let’s chat.

love your guts,

Also, dogs or cats? But why? I’m curious how your furry friend preference fits into your contradictions. Hit reply or comment below.