"With these words I have healed deep wounds and feelings of inadequacy within myself. If you get this far... if you're still reading this: Write your life. No matter how young or old. Even if you feel like you're not interesting enough. Do it. Believe me you are. Your life is, in fact twisted and beautiful and you'll find that as you peel back the layers, the unexpected side effect is that it feels wonderful to be known. Even if it's just by you."
― Brandi Carlile, Broken Horses
It's Monday night, and I worked late. My husband made kimchi tofu soup for dinner on my wee break, then loaded the dishwasher. I just finished a wind-down epsom salt bath with a novel. We are both snuggled in bed, and I am the baby spoon. My life feels spacious, comfortable and complete. I heard a big sigh, and then as if we shared a brain at that moment, my husband said, relieved. "These last few years have taught me much about myself, the world and you. I am grateful for the space and time we had to figure ourselves out."
A lot has changed, and it is incredible to be on the other side of the hardest reckoning we had to face within ourselves. And, at the end of the day, I am loved and supported by the kindest man I have ever known. But we rarely have opportunities to talk about it or celebrate the success of healing.
Collectively, we have shared grief, trauma, and recovery, not just these past three years but in our lifetime. We leaped forward to deep diving into the healing of ourselves, our families, and our communities.
Slowly, I found the courage to speak about this internal shift. It has been a challenging road. Showing accountability to become a responsible leader is not sexy. I have fallen face down in the mud more than I have reached the summit. Recently, Candice Shutter offered a candid conversation about the harm happening online. I truly appreciate her support and willingness to ally in the wild ways of online business and Coaching discussion! Also, a (former) coach who has had many parallel experiences in the new age wellness world. This connection brings up all the feelings and is healing and humbling at the same time. We are still figuring shit out, trying to overcome many blind spots and learning out loud.
Candice and I are relatively new to recovery, just like my husband and I. Our stories are similar; we share openly and intimately, with (no spooning involved) but certainly, the mutual gratefulness to have someone who understands was a felt presence in this podcast conversation.
"Coaching 'Cult'ure Red Flags: When Help & Harm Collide | Kathleen Oh
Here are few links to the episode, if you want direct access >> Spotify - Apple Podcasts - or at thedeeperpulse.com.
You may or may not be totally in line with this convo. We lovingly share our Coaching encounters and how deep diving into the discovery of ourselves, our families, and our communities are helping people think about things differently. I love knowing I am not alone in these experiences. I am unlearning more and more and finding more comfort in my work.
Everything about this time in my life is bringing me closer to sharing more and more of my story. Especially since you are here reading,
On the Deeper Pulse Podcast Spotify - Apple Podcasts - or at thedeeperpulse.com with Candice Shutter, together, we unpack the 'cult'ure of coaching; here are a few things discuss:
therapy versus coaching; clarifying the diff
the saviour complex; wounded healer
privilege; accessibility; the whole idea of ’self-help & how/why it only works for some
elevated pricing; bait&switch sales funnels; coercive sales strategies; love bombing
scope of practice; blindspots; lack of oversight & accountability
language: word salad; thought-terminating cliches; spiritual platitudes
magical thinking; being at cause; law of attraction; toxic positivity
demonizing' the ego' & how it's used to gaslight
Absolutely gorgeous read. The line about face in the mud and the occasional summit is so life affirming. This one is clearly a summit!