(power)surrender
and intimacy
Life is a beautiful, unpredictable adventure, and microscopic moments remain constant if there's one thing it has taught me. I am captivated by life and its jagged edges and have learned how to truly live through it all.
Since I moved to this small town in southern Ontario 24 years ago, I have visited my dentist twice a year. I experienced motherhood in a young family life, divorce, and remarriage in and out of that office. It may sound strange, but without family or any roots here, the only constants in my life have been my dentist and their staff, the music of Raffi, U2, and The Barenaked Ladies, and the friendly faces of the lifers at Costco. These seemingly mundane constants have been unwavering anchors amidst the waves of change.
Today, I shared with my dentist's receptionist that staying married has been the hardest thing I've done in the last two years. It's been easier getting divorced the first time than figuring out the complexities of being married and happy with someone as complicated as my husband and myself. This realization has been both challenging and enlightening. We are better than ever, now.
Through these experiences, I've learned that life isn't about the constants we cling to but about how we navigate and grow through the changes. It's about finding stability within ourselves and embracing the ebb and flow of our existence.
In this process of navigating change, I have come to learn some beautiful truths about myself:
I love being naked in nature, feeling the raw connection to the world around me. Recently, I spent a day on the Columbia River (Rooster Rock State Park)
I want to laugh until it hurts, often. (and please laugh with me?)
Dancing barefoot at festivals brings me pure joy.
I find peace listening to music while lying in a cuddle puddle on the grass in the dark.
I welcome new parts of myself and find an identity that is more kinky and queer than straight and vanilla. I celebrate the complexity of my desires.
I am loving lover exploring the depths of my darkness and my passions.
Learning about consent has taught me to know what is mine and how to ask for what I need.
Using drugs showed me to live on the edges of life safely and with curiosity. While using drugs is no longer required to find the depths of myself, the lessons and compass remain.
These truths have not only grounded me but have also helped me find joy and fulfillment in the midst of life's unpredictability.
Thank you for being part of my growth, flowing with and embracing life's changes, and finding small constants that keep us grounded.
sunshine on leaf,
Resources:
I've compiled a curated list of insightful resources and empowering figures in the world of kink and sexuality, focusing on voices and perspectives that often go underrepresented. Whether you're seeking thought-provoking reads, engaging online courses, or inspiring Instagram handles to follow, this list has you covered. Dive in and explore these recommendations that celebrate diversity, depth, and the vibrant spectrum of human sexuality.
Books Written by Women
Tongue Tied by Stella Harris
Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliott
The Chronology of Water by Lidia Yuknavitch (memoir)
Women and Kink by Jennifer Rehor
Women Offering Online Courses
Planet Midori
Website: planetmidori.com
Instagram: @planetmidori
Luna Matata (local GTA)
Website: lunamatata.com
Instagram: @lunamatata
Books Written by Men
The Dominance Playbook by Anton Fulmen
SM 101 by Jay Wiseman
Live Events or Online Classes
Sarah Belzile
Website: sarahbelzile.com
Instagram: @sarahbelzile_guide
Sara Downing
Website: mamayoni.ca
Instagram @mamayoni71
Body Electric School Retreats: Power Surrender and Intimacy for Women
Website: bodyelectric.org
Instagram: @bodyelectric_school
The Kneeling Room (Toronto, Ontario)
Classes Offered: Visit their website for more details.
Website: thekneelingroom.com
Instagram: @thekneelingroom
Instagram Handles for Femme Doms
Lush Lynn: @lushlynn_
Lady Pim: @lady.pim
Worship Evie: @worshipevie