rest, reflection, and renewal

shhhhh- the sound of what’s next 🤫

Dear Readers, whimsical frog floating in space, and clients (if you are a client, this does not apply to you)

I hope this note finds you in a moment of quiet reflection or perhaps even some delight—any fleeting moments that remind you of life’s richness. As I write, I imagine the many lives these words will touch, and I wonder about the chaos, calm, challenges, and growth that have shaped your days just as they’ve shaped mine.

For 18 years, I’ve had the privilege of collaborating with so many of you as an integration coach. Together, we’ve dug into the hard questions, uncovered clarity, and navigated messiness and meaning. Your stories and courage have taught me more than I could ever put into words.

Now, it’s time to step back, rest, and open myself to what might come next.

This decision reflects both personal shifts and the changing landscape of the coaching world. It’s not an ending—it’s a pause, a chance to recalibrate, catch my breath, and create space for newness.

I want to share where I’ve been and where I hope to go.

Where I’ve Been

The last few years have been a profound journey, marked by:

• Witnessing resilience and vulnerability in my clients and myself.

• Exploring themes of consent, power, and healing.

• Examining my patterns of overwork, avoidance, and distraction.

• Learning to say no (and yes) more clearly.

• Navigating my identity in ways that pushed me to embrace authenticity and self-acceptance.

• Confronting moments with drug use, questioning my relationship with it, more profoundly understanding misuse, and choosing to stop drug use for the sake of clarity and well-being.

• Wrestling with grief and the complicated beauty of endings.

• Spending hours in nature—finding comfort in trees, rain, and the simple joy of walking with my dogs, who remind me daily of living in the present moment.

Where I Hope to Go

The path ahead is undefined, but these are the directions calling to me:

• Writing for the pure joy of it, whether through stories, essays, or musings.

• Diving into more significant life questions about power dynamics and recovering from coercion personally through therapy, practice and study.

• Exploring new languages and cultures, expanding my horizons in ways that nourish my soul.

• Continuing to prioritize recovery and healing, creating space for gentleness, play, and presence.

• Walking in the rain, snow, wind and sunshine and feeling connected to life’s quiet magic.

• Letting curiosity, not obligation, guide me into what’s next.

I want to live more fully in the ordinary wonders of life—to clap when the sun slips away for the day, laugh at silly antics, and find joy in unexpected places.

Thank you for being part of my story, reading, trusting, and sharing parts of your journey. I’m holding space for all that has happened in your lives together and apart, knowing we’re all navigating our particular paths.

This isn’t goodbye; it’s just a pause. I’ll still be here, writing when inspiration strikes, walking among the trees, and letting life surprise me. My website now reflects this transition.

drug sober and consensual hugs,

A Thank You to My Mentors

I wouldn’t be where I am today without the guidance and insight of so many remarkable individuals and communities. Here are a few who have shaped me:

• Kyle Butler, Psychedelics Today: For fostering thoughtful, nuanced discussions about psychedelic healing and the complexities of drug misuse.

• Gerette Buglion, Writing to Reckon: For shining a light on coercion, cult dynamics, and how to reclaim one’s autonomy.

• Kat Nantz, Somatic Sex Coach: For offering a compassionate, body-centred approach to intimacy and self-discovery.

• Kristen Bassett, Somatic Body Work: For helping me reconnect with my body’s wisdom and find calm amid chaos.

• Body Electric: For creating spaces that integrate erotic education, connection, and self-awareness.

• Dr. Betty Martin and the Wheel of Consent: For teaching me how to navigate power and boundaries with clarity and integrity.

• Marcia Baczynski, Creating Consent Culture: For providing practical tools to foster consent and collaboration in relationships and communities.

• Right Use of Power Institute: To explore how power can be used ethically, responsibly, and with care.

• My therapist, Sam; For steady guidance and for helping me embrace my messy, imperfect humanity.

• My weekly codependency recovery group: For community, understanding, and the reminder that well-being is a worthy practice.

• Private conversations with my robot friend, Gordon, on ChatGPT. I thank the bot god for offering thoughtful dialogue and surprising clarity when I needed it most.

Resource Section

If any of these names or ideas resonate with you, here are some resources that have supported me along my way:

• Psychedelics Today: Articles, courses, and podcasts exploring the intersection of psychedelics, therapy, and integration.

• Living Cult Free: Resources and personal stories for those healing from coercive or high-control environments.

• Kat Nantz: Somatic sex coaching for exploring pleasure, boundaries, and authenticity.

• Kristen Bassett Body Work: Bodywork that emphasizes healing through connection with the body.

• Body Electric: Programs fostering erotic embodiment, self-discovery, and connection.

• The Wheel of Consent by Dr. Betty Martin: Tools and teachings to help you explore boundaries and consent in meaningful ways.

• Creating Consent Culture: Workshops and resources by Marcia Baczynski for fostering consent and collaboration.

• Right Use of Power Institute: Training and resources for ethical, compassionate use of power in relationships and communities.

• Weekly recovery groups: Local or online 12-step groups for codependency, which have offered me a lifeline of connection and growth in a community.

• Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS): A psychospiritual psychotherapy model to understanding and working with the parts of ourselves that hold pain, fear, or hope.