You know when something is so good you want to get it over with?
That's not you? Maybe it is just me?
Last Friday, I had that exact feeling.
Here is what happened:
My two favourite people and I drove to Rochester, NY, to see this incredible R&B singer. Danielle Ponder is from Rochester, and if you don't already know, the good things that come out of that city are rare (or has-been, like Kodak and Xerox). She was back in her hometown at the inaugural concert at a brand new venue. A perfect choice to welcome in and welcome back Danielle Ponder's music. The origin story, as she shared in her acoustic opening, was born in the jazz bars and Caribbean club in a place that was big enough to dream in Kodachrome.
After the thoughtful intro, the entire band arrived, filling the room with excitement as the temperature of the music (and tightly packed, sweaty audience)was about to go from soft and warm to blazing hot.
"This is for all the black women out there," in less than a heartbeat, Danielle carried the voice of plenty, dedicating every cell of her body to sing with the power she breathed into this song.
I first heard Some of Us Are Brave in the spring. I was merging onto the 406, accelerating to highway speed as the fresh, exhilarating lyrics drove through my heart and moved my soul as I was moving into the fast lane. When something so good happens, my brain timestamps the exact moment it occurred. And each time I return to that spot, the delicious memory is delivered up to savour its beautiful perfection. LIVE, the song was even more goosebumpy than the first time it ventured onto my Spotify Discovery playlist. As the song closed out with "I'll show you how, I'll show you how," - tears, sweat and mascara drenched my face, and I was glad it was over.
Don't get me wrong. The entire set, song after song, delivered full-body reverb, chills and music so powerful I had to breathe through to the other side. But what was over was the wait. My brain got its timestamped moment out of the gate, and the rest? Well, it was tremendous, better than I imagined - I am a changed person. Her energy and music provided a total shift in perspective. I know my heart will never be the same.
I must be an eat-dessert-first person, get the biggest and best out of the way and usher all the other experiences onward instead of waiting.
Does this make sense?
Using MDMA to uncover trauma-related emotions has taught me how to feel all the feels. Also, something in me shifted, big time. Since I spit the slut comment out in the internet ethers, my body is celebrating.
I am ready to show you how.
Wanna share something good so you can get it over with?
Or if something else is on your mind, you can always click "Reply," leave a comment below or book a chat.
In a beautiful world,
Ps. In case you need more evidence of how much I have internalized the music of Danielle Ponder - probably more than you know. Listen to her version of Creep (Radiohead cover) the final song of the encore just when I thought I couldn’t cry more.
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here