three things
more stories to share with you.
Time goes fast this time of year - it's a steady cycle of sweat, showers and sunsets.
You may be curious why I am back in your inbox so soon?
I have stories I want to share with you. Three stories exactly.
Why wait when thousands of you read my weekly newsletters;
Let me tell you about the 40-foot cedar canoe that taught me lessons about myself yet to be fully revealed. This wild beast canoe was back on the water after decades of neglect and forced retirement. A volunteer restored the wood and bones of the beautiful boat as a tribute to its crew and country. Restoring history that had brought our Club a national gold medal sometime in the 1960s. I had no idea a canoe could have such enormous energy, and its time away had only offered it more pent-up reason to let this run be its chance to show the world it still had the fervour it was made for. A war canoe could never be gentle. Our amateur team was underprepared for this victorious lap, willing but scared, some excited, others terrified. A crew of fifteen paddling our hearts out on the gentle water of the Welland canal felt like maneuvering Class IV rapids in the Rockies. Nothing in me felt ready. I only wished it was over as soon as we launched. In the final stretch of the journey, I was thrown overboard!! The intensity of this venture brought me to edges of myself I had never safely experienced in life. I am learning to be brave in real life, to own my strengths and rally my fears.
On July 9, Anne Shulgin, Sasha's wife, passed at 91. She lived and remains an undersung hero of the psychedelic community. Without her and Sasha's work with MDMA, there would be much less hope for people with severe PTSD, and innumerable salvageable marriages would have ended. My husband and I included! I would not have experienced the love of another messy human in recovery from life misfortune if we had not been rescued through therapy and working with MDMA. We brought our battered selves into our marriage and now have the tools to become whole together. We can safely explore our emotional edges in our relationship; again, it can be A LOT; we are certainly not unafraid. We are courageous, and we work hard. Thank you, Anne and Sasha, for boldly blessing the world with your gifts.
Tarzan Kay is my best friend; I mentioned her in my last email. She is sharing her colourful stories about sex, drugs, and cults. (but the link was broken!!) This is me writing about what we do for fun!
CANDY RAVER
We tripped on Christmas Eve with 2-CB, a research compound formulated by the late Sasha Shulgin. He is famous for his backyard lab and personally testing all his chemistry with his wife and a group of close friends. We like to think we are carrying on the importance he intended. We followed the mystery of this cosmic journey as if it was indeed the North Star. The playlist was curated with excellent selections and crafted for the small gathering of three. The psychedelic delivery was multifaceted. Quiet entry into popping Candy Raver drenched in sweat to a devastating tear-soaked disaster at the bottom of Drop of Doom and then gasping for air while broken into a million pieces with the finale, a head-on collision - a song with the sound of crying babies broke me through the middle. I could not breathe, writhing for the pain it caused for all the births, babies, and love lost. All in just 5 hours.
It's all a jarring distinction from the predominant themes of today's stories, which are "a little dark and a lot gritty." The one note it strikes is the bold tone—and that's spoken by someone who, at various times in my l life, has struggled with depression, anxiety, addiction, shame and judgment. At its worst, the experience of my inner life was limited by the emotional range my life offered. Now, I stretch into all my adventures and have found calmness in knowing who I am through it all.
On this day in 1969, approximately 650 million people watched as Neil Armstrong stepped onto the surface of the Moon—a moment of unparalleled importance,
Thank you for reading.
hugs and drugs,
References:
War canoe racing has a long and cherished history in Canada. Colonizers considered canoe racing to be a sport, not a cultural activity. For Indigenous people, the canoe has remained a spiritual practice.
How can MDMA help with PTSD and healing in general? New to MDMA or RollSafe.org? Start here.
Tarzan Kay, in real life, is my bestie and favourite storyteller. Follow for more