Working with MDMA has untied the knots of unknowing. Writing in micro memoir-style has captured the essence of my recovery. It is an invitation to expand my human experience.

Here, I am, offering the wordless stories that have lived in my body that now capture something new and precious. Freedom of expression healing beyond words or wisdom.

I know a lot about (and I have the guts) to stay with the process of peeling away the layers that keep your inner landscape unfamiliar and strange. And as unique as that gift is, I couldn’t responsibly be of service without the accompaniment of the skills and experience I’ve gained, putting all the parts of myself together to recover inherent brilliance.

Trauma is at the root of what I do. Meeting my own, pursuing the intense work to understand it, disentangling myself from its grip on my life, and weaving myself back together had to come first. 

This work did not “fix” me. And I’m still an imperfect person. This work made me whole. 

Being a high-achieving learner, I went all-in on my growth. I’ve learned to safely reinforce the preexisting knowledge that was not very well purposed yet very well resourced. 

The harm offered me something else too. The potential for negative and dangerous impact – that I will never unknow, unsee, unfeel – is real and rampant. Holding this truth alongside the radiance can uncover in many people keeps me questioning my practice, tools, and language… my whole life. It can be pretty mind-bending, and it’s worth it.

So…challenging conversations are kinda my thing. With myself, but also with others. I won’t…

....shy away from trauma

...turn a blind eye to the disparities in War on Drugs

...let my white privilege go unchecked

And, I will make a positive contribution and have meaningful exchanges with grown-ups about drugs.

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HELLO BEAUTIFUL HUMAN, I’M K-OH! Writing micro memoir-style has captured the essence of my recovery. Working with MDMA has untied the knots of unknowing.
Tara Backes
Assistant to Kathleen Oh