all the ways we break our hearts

beautifully unholy

"If I could go back, I'd coach myself. I'd be the woman who taught me how to stand up, how to want things, how to ask for them. I'd be the woman who says, your mind, your imagination, they are everything. Look how beautiful. You deserve to sit at the table. The radiance falls on all of us." 

― Lidia Yuknavitch, The Chronology of Water

Today the story is about many stories broken into segments, which will appear in the form of lists. I have detected a few exciting pieces of information in these past few newsletters that show me what you are looking at and possibly want to know more about:

1. I see you are curious about ketamine. Mentioning Mindbloom blew up the clicks and questions. You want to know more! I have explored this terrain in the last year and have good news> Ketamine is great!! For years, I had a slanted biased away from ketamine therapy. In this interview with Dr. Julie Holland, a psychopharmacologist, psychiatrist and the author of the books shares ketamine vs. MDMA and psilocybin 👎🏻- I adopted her opinion without personal experimentation or had never supported clients who worked with ketamine. A lot has changed! Soon, I will share some breakthrough experiences. 

2. Integration can involve the powerful processing of emotions and complex experience through vulnerable conversations. A person can see an integration Coach even years after a psychedelic experience. Integration Coaching doesn't involve direct contact with substances. Yet, working alone in the space of aftercare can be challenging: that is the integration time. It requires the utmost compassion and respect. If you want to chat about it, hit reply.

3. I want to show up as a responsible coach in this industry. Check out! The Soulful Human Podcast  Nicole is a wonderful host, and our conversation branches into why coaching must be genuinely trauma-informed. And how I discovered that my journey out of the toxic wellness culture meant unlearning and deconditioning colonial systems to be genuinely anti-racist and affirmative of LGBTQ+ identities. I must be honest about the trauma, abuse, and narcissism happening online. It is much less unclear, in my opinion. If a coach doesn't actively and intentionally discuss the systemic racism and oppression of people who are not white, hetero, cisgender, or privileged or not actively seeking to acknowledge, validate, and address their BIPOC teachers or members of their audience - move on. We need to stop pretending to do better and have these conversations. Listen here!

4. The dozens of you read my Airbnb review!! I have to thank you! Being a spotless and well-kept guest who earns gold stars is a tip to my recovery! It wasn't always like this. There were many disastrous years I could never keep organized. I had to acknowledge and understand that the brainiac clutter and crud between my ears made cleaning arduous. Life is simple when the chaos in my brain is quiet.

5. I am in the middle of a writing revolution. I've been researching writing incubators and applied for an inspiring group with an author known to communicate extreme emotional states and offer the intensity of a lived experience. Fingers crossed, it's a big dream for me, so we will see. (I'm also supposed to write my new web copy!) This sideways revolution is happening. 

6. A writing prompt, picture, 3 minutes to write- produced a poem.

I see myself in this picture writing through plant & mycelial 

Mounds of growth

Pulled into the sky

The earth giving 

through mycelium decaying into green 

networks of underground working to propel growth, to let go

the bigness rolling off the mountains, hidden words beneath the soil

Pushing up into a delicious sun, taking it on the red hot lips tasting

the utterances of green, fresh as the leaf in spring, the birth of 

a spirit that did not know its name 

Thank you for being inside this budding co-relationship--between a newbie writer and you are my readers!! I am only possible if you show up and let my coaching work, and this writing will always be about all the ways we break our hearts.

And, a special thank you to reader and longtime friend Barbara for making the first-ever financial pledge to OH MY HEART - I didn’t even know that was possible. Such a delight.

be beautifully unholy,

Listen here!