Everyone has the potential to be an asshole. I’ve exercised my potential quite a bit in my lifetime. I think we have to learn how to not be one. And if you haven’t learned, you probably are one. I don’t think you’re an asshole, for what it’s worth.
Yes!! I admire people who fck up and learn how to do better. It is not sexy to admit. And, this story is one of many. Early on a wise therapist once told me - "the saviour always gets slain" Sadly, I didn't see it.
Most of my life, I’ve focused on how others treated me...what they did to me because honestly, most of the people closest to me were broken and did terrible things to everyone (including themselves.)
But throughout my own healing process, I’ve had to face the fact that I haven’t been the easiest person to be in a relationship with over the years. I was super judgmental if anyone thought differently than me. I had expectations no one could ever possibly live up to, and subconsciously I think I wanted people to take care of me to make up for having a shitty childhood. Looking back, I realize it was obviously unhealthy and just too much for people to take.
These days I’m figuring out how to take responsibility for my needs and ask for what I would like without an expectation. A healthy balance of giving and receiving is not the easiest thing to navigate sometimes.
thank you for sharing your experience! I am so grateful you are here! I love your guts to talk about this so openly and honestly. I am a huge fan of your writing and the stories you share about where you have picked up your own lessons. You are an exceptional human.
Powerful writing about issues we all deal with at one point or another. Your awareness of your behaviors is admirable. It seems more like self-preservation to me than you being an asshole.
Thank you Barbara! I agree, it was an important decision and distinction. I respect your insight so much and value our capability to hold capacity in our expansive friendship. Thank you for being here for so much of this journey!! I love you!!
Ah, the asshole. Some you can let go, others you may have to lovingly detach from because they are your parents, siblings or children. Great self reflections.
Everyone has the potential to be an asshole. I’ve exercised my potential quite a bit in my lifetime. I think we have to learn how to not be one. And if you haven’t learned, you probably are one. I don’t think you’re an asshole, for what it’s worth.
Yes!! I admire people who fck up and learn how to do better. It is not sexy to admit. And, this story is one of many. Early on a wise therapist once told me - "the saviour always gets slain" Sadly, I didn't see it.
Most of my life, I’ve focused on how others treated me...what they did to me because honestly, most of the people closest to me were broken and did terrible things to everyone (including themselves.)
But throughout my own healing process, I’ve had to face the fact that I haven’t been the easiest person to be in a relationship with over the years. I was super judgmental if anyone thought differently than me. I had expectations no one could ever possibly live up to, and subconsciously I think I wanted people to take care of me to make up for having a shitty childhood. Looking back, I realize it was obviously unhealthy and just too much for people to take.
These days I’m figuring out how to take responsibility for my needs and ask for what I would like without an expectation. A healthy balance of giving and receiving is not the easiest thing to navigate sometimes.
thank you for sharing your experience! I am so grateful you are here! I love your guts to talk about this so openly and honestly. I am a huge fan of your writing and the stories you share about where you have picked up your own lessons. You are an exceptional human.
Thank you for saying that. ❤️
Powerful writing about issues we all deal with at one point or another. Your awareness of your behaviors is admirable. It seems more like self-preservation to me than you being an asshole.
Thank you Barbara! I agree, it was an important decision and distinction. I respect your insight so much and value our capability to hold capacity in our expansive friendship. Thank you for being here for so much of this journey!! I love you!!
Ah, the asshole. Some you can let go, others you may have to lovingly detach from because they are your parents, siblings or children. Great self reflections.
Letting go and hang onto in the name of assholery that we endure. Thank you for your comment. You are in good company Susan.